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BLACK |
| For Immediate Release: July 22 1997 |
Contact: |
|
BLACK |
| For Immediate Release: July 22 1997 |
Contact: |
BLACK HELICOPTERS CONFIRM GAME, SCORN CLAW ATTEMPTS TO RESCHEDULE
RUBY RIDGE-At a press conference early today, a spokesperson for the BLACK HELICOPTERS confirmed that they would be showing up to play CLAW, rain or shine. and would claim a default victory if CLAW refused to take the field.
"Hey these helos have all weather capability. Rain, sleet, snow, sand--whatever. We're coming to play. and we're taking that championship trophy back to northern Idaho where it belongs. CLAW has been talking big lately, but now that the weather is going south we'll see what they are really made of. I've got a bad feeling that Bingaman and the rest of the CLAW team is what they call here in Idaho 'All hat and no cattle,' "said Tim Mahoney (P), Strategic Planning Director for the Black Helicopters.
Mahoney's comments were in response to persistent rumors that the CLAW team was angling for a way out of their agreement to play in light of threatening weather reports.
In related news, sources in Waco reported having seen CLAW supporter Melanie Griffin desperately hitting up strangers on the street for ideas for the post game Shoe party. Griffin, a known former government agent and suspected deep plant, was reportedly mumbling to herself about all the CLAW talent and creativity being gone.
Capt. Brian O'Donnell (SF) of the Black Helicopter 2nd Brigade, based in Waco, commented "Those folks from CLAW are a shell of their former selves, and I'm glad I got out when I did. They're going to loose on the field and on the floor," referring to the Shoe party being held after the game. He went on to say "the Black Helicopters are going to win this game because we're going to play the only way we know how. and that's WIDE OPEN."
The game is scheduled for 6:30pm in Dog Shit Park, at 5th and E street, SE.
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