Old Farts
11

• Steve Kallick
• Lenny Kohm
• Bart Koehler
• Brian O'Donnell
• Pat Higgins
• John Adams
• John Wallin
• Melyssa Watkins
• Brooks Yeager
• Tim Mahoney
• Mike Matz

Young Guns
11

• Marc Wheeler
• Paul Spitler
• Todd Tucci
• Dave Ellenberger
• Tom Price
• John Leary
• Trevor Fitzgibbon
• Michael Carroll
• Adam Kolton
• Jeremy Scheafer
• Amelia Jenkins
• Andy Holdsworth

Ernie Dickerman

Old Farts Story
Updated 5/31/98

Coming back from an 11 to 5 at the end of the sixth, in the dark, the old farts stormed the Guns to retain their title of world champions.  Captain Tim Mahoney had no comment, when asked about rumors that the Farts had used guile and cunning plying the Guns with beer, "fixing" the definition of "Old Farts" to bring young bloods into their team and talked faster to the press, establishing their "line" in the early editions

As the young pups walked glumly off the field, dazed by the comeback and relieved their centerfielder had not dropped the last fly ball, Eldest Fart Lenny Kohm summed up the game in a voice as even as Clint Eastwood's  "You got to whup the champ."

Editors Note

The two versions of the game have been reproduced here unedited.   There were suggestions that the Young Guns version should be edited to the same length as the Old Farts story.  In keeping with the conference emphasis on brevity and conciseness in lobbying materials, I left them unchanged and readers can judge for themselves.

JAMc

Young Guns Story

While the battle of the generations softball game ended in a tie, leaving all in good spirits, some questioned whether the the Young Guns were in fact seriously attempting to prevail.  One anonymous source admitted the Guns were afraid to embarrass their mentors whose morale was critical to the success of the conference. "Lets face it, you don't want those guys to feel like a bunch of wash outs.  They've done a tremendous amount for the wilderness movement.  How can you humiliate them?"

Team Captain, Todd Tucci denied the Guns allowed the Farts to tie the game, despite the 11-5 lead they enjoyed late in the game. He did note, however, that the Guns did give up some of their best players to help the old guys out.

In fact, Brian O'Donnell, Melyssa Watson, John Adams, and John Wallin -- four young guns -- played for the Olds Farts and accounted for most of their runs.

It's amazing that some of the most accomplished organizers in the history of our movement couldn't field a team without our help, said Tom Price, co-conference organizer.

When asked about their performance, the Old Farts insisted they earned their tie fairly, but did not deny using the performance enhancing "Viagra" to stimulate a more virile performance.  "Let's fact it, said team captain Mahoney, we get it up the way we used to (meaning up and out of the infield, of course).